Stumpy's War

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August 6th 1999

The Mutons made their first appearance today. A tiny Infiltration craft attempted to slip past my Hyperwave network. It was intercepted and destroyed mid flight thanks to Alien technology in the form of Plasma Cannons. I chuckle at the thought of the Muton being ejected from his pilot seat, bashed against the plummeting, flaming wreckage and then being chased through the air at terminal velocity being shot at by my Interceptor.

August 7th 1999

The 'second wave' of Mutons came in the form of a search squad. They are apparently interested in attacking my base. The small craft was also shot down, but landed with crew and equipment intact. My soldiers had orders to shoot to kill; I have obtained all the medical information on Mutons from their useless Floater and Sectoid brothers, so there is no reason to keep any in non-eviscerated form. The soldiers accidently took two Navigators alive. They kindly informed my scientists of the purpose behind Alien Research missions and the technical specs of Battleships. I don't ask how my scientists get this information, nor what happens to the Aliens once they have been interrogated. I pay them their wages and ignore the occasional light-flickers that always occur after a report hits my desk.

August 15th 1999

We still lack a live Ethereal. There have been a few attempts by them to land in small UFOs, but attempts to force them to land have resulted in their deaths. I feel that a live creature of this type will lead us to the secrets of Psionics. My soldiers have been trained in the most dire of dire as it can get against Sectoids and Snakemen, anyways...but lack the powers of mental defense necessary for the final assault on Cydonia. I will set Plan B (for Boom) into motion.

August 20th 1999

My machine shop reports that the Avenger will be complete in 24 days. The weapons lab reports completion of the Blaster Launchers and Bombs in 8 days. Heavy Strength training has caused all of my soldiers to be quite able of carrying full Flying Armour, an Alien Grenade, MediKit, Heavy Plasma with extra clip (not that they've ever had to use a second clip), Blaster Launcher with loaded round, and two extra Football rounds for the Launcher. This should allow them to gain access to the heart of Cydonia.

In the meantime my soldiers continue to hone the skills on the surviving creatures of downed ships. My patrols to South Africa have returned no sign of an Alien base...which is odd since they signed a pack with the bastards. My Bases in North America report no UFO activity at all, making the USA a giant, easy to please cash cow. There has been no indication of any Alien bases on Earth since the Floater base I cleaned out in May. Where are all the Aliens? They sure aren't putting up a very good fight.

This war will end in September, which is good because then I won't have to tape all my shows when the new television season starts.

// posted by J @ 2:09 AM Saturday, July 26, 2003 Josh @ Stumpy Kitten Reposted to wiki by --JellyfishGreen 12:04, 10 May 2005 (BST)